A Virgin Bride Needs Advice...

Good day Ma.

I got married a few month's ago to my dear hubby as a virgin and a novice. Initially sex was unenjoyable and painful. However its much better now as its not painful anymore,and its a lil pleasurable. but I  haven't ever had an orgasm .

The only position we have succeeded in doing well is the missionary style with my legs raised up and wrapped around just above his waist. This gives deep penetration and it feels good but still a bit painful. I found out that only abt 30% of women get an orgasm 4rm vaginal penetration and most get from clitoral stimulation.

My hubby stimulates my clit sometimes, but the sensation is usually too much to bear and I ask him to stop. Most times its a lil painful and a few times pleasurable. He strokes my clit lightly, yet the sensation is just too much that I can't enjoy.I am not circumcised.

We have tried other positions like doggy and woman on top, because he said these positions will give me maximum pleasure. We haven't mastered them at all. And for the woman on top, his penis keeps sliding out.and it just seems like a really hard position 4 me;esp as am used to lying down'as per missionary'

I just wanna know what I can do/any advice that will help me in bed. I want to enjoy sex to the fullest especially now that kids are yet to arrive.

Thanks a lot for the opportunity to reach out to you.

P.S I got your contact from SDK and saw your blog. Good work ma.

MY RESPONSE

Hello sweetheart and how are you. I read your mail and I understand perfectly all you have written. 

Firstly, let me congratulate you on your wedding and also for not engaging in premarital sex. I must commend you and only hope that many more girls keep themselves tight till that wedding night. I pray that you will enjoy your marriage to the fullest in Jesus name. Amen. 

Now to the point. Enjoying sex has a lot to do with your emotions and all the organs of your body particularly your brain, sensitive areas such as your nippies, clitoris and every other part of you. For some people the ears, the navel or generally the stomach region are very sensitive. Your husband has to devote a lot of time to fore play, where he gets you ready and yearning for him. The clitoris is a highly sensitive part of a woman's body but if wrongly handled can cause a woman some level of displeasure or discomfort, therefore,  it should be handled in a gentle manner. When next he wants to play with your clitoris ask him to put a little bit of lubrication and not apply much pressure. Some light tender strokes will do.

So darling,  two practical things here are 

1. Relax yourself and don't be shy, tell your husband what he should do to your body that would make you highly activated or aroused, eg The gentle suck on your nipples for a period of 5 or 10 minutes will make you ready for action and you would not feel a single pain during sex because the stimulation most times will result in the production of erotic sensations or sexual excitement. As a matter of fact some women achieve an orgasm as a result of nipple stimulation or sucking. Some soft french kiss will add to your pleasure as well. Don't kiss him like you want to eat him up lol.

2. Once your body is activated,  you can try all different styles. Feel free to experiment. Practise makes perfect. When you relax you would, enjoy sex better. Find out what you like about your husbands body and play with it. It could be his nipples,  his penis or what ever you like in him. It's a way to turn on yourself as well as turning him on too. The bottom line here is to relax and enjoy the gift God has given you which is your darling husband ok? As for him slipping out of your while you are on top, over look it and change positions. If you go to Google you would see various sex positions so look through, choose one that interest you and have a blast. 

All the best sweetie, keep me posted and in 9 months we will come for omugwo lol. One love baby.