Dear Aunty, my name is April. I read your blog regularly and must say you are a God sent. Aunty, I wish I had to write a better story on this site but unfortunately, I don’t. I am here because I am in a really bad situation and I need some advice on what to do.
I and my husband have been married for 12 years. We have had good times and bad times but for the most part, we always worked things out. We have 3 lovely kids.
My husband has a colleague and they are very good friends
and my husband tells me everything that happens in the office. My husband also told me that his friend is a chronic
womanizer that sleeps with a lot of women in and outside their office. I was
also told how he cheats on his wife and how he is fantastic on his job.
My impression of this guy was that he is dirty and pretty
disgusting until one day, he showed up at our house as he was to go for a retreat
with my husband. Aunty, when i saw this guy, I was shocked by how handsome he
was. He was a real gentleman. Tall, fit, handsome and had a lot of confidence.
I could tell why so many women had fallen for him.
To go off topic for a minute, my husband has a problem with saying no. He doesn’t really have a mind of his own. Let me say he is a selfless person. If someone asks him to work late or extra, my husband will always do it then complain later. This pisses me off as he never used to be like this. Aunty, I later discovered that this was keeping my husband and i distant.
Sometime in January, we both decided that we will dedicate one week to us to revive our marriage. We agreed the kids would go to his parents and he would have to take that one week off work. In February on Valentine’s Day I had a great plan for us. The kids were with his parents and we were supposed to cuddle each other, have sex and go out to dinner. Aunty guess what happened.... He got a call from his boss to come and rectify a faulty equipment that went down. My husband works in a telecoms company as an engineer. He was on leave and could have refused but he chose to go. This really threw me off balance aunty.
He said he was sorry but left me there all alone. He was so much in a rush to get to work that he left his key card at home. When he got to the office he couldn’t have access to the equipment room so he called me and said his friend would pick it up for him since he was in the area and had to come to work also.
His friend showed up and I invited him in while i went upstairs to fetch the card. It was the first time that I was alone with him so I made chit chat to try to get to know him. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes. I know it was wrong but all I could think about was all the sexual things that my husband told me about him. It was hard for me to carry on a conversation without asking him if it were all true. Somehow, the conversation turned to sex and next thing I knew, I was giving him oral sex in our living room. We also had sex that day. Aunty please don’t blame or judge me. I was turned on and ready for sex. I was in the mood. It just happened that this guy was a tool i used to sort myself out. While we had sex, my husband called me and i lied that I had given his friend the key card and he was on his way. He called his friend and he refused to answer the call as we were in the thick of the action. He later told my husband that he had a flat tire so that's why he was late to work.
Aunty i really enjoyed every bit of that day as he did to me things my husband has never done to me and it has continued like this although more like under duress because he is threatening to expose us if I refuse to have sex with him. I really didn’t mind because i was loving every minute of it. Looking back, I feel bad for living this lie and cheating on my husband. Me and his friend has hooked up at several hotels and he has come over a few times while my husband was at work. He told me all the lies my husband told and all about my husband’s girlfriends. He called a few and put the phone on speaker so that i can hear them myself. At a point he called my husband asking after a certain lady and my husband was telling him how the said lady blew his brains off during a round of sex. This stories made me sink deeper in the act as i was getting all I needed sexually from this guy and i didn’t care whatever my husband was doing. On one occasion my husband needed to travel out for two weeks. At that time i was not feeling too well and he told his friend to make sure I go to hospital and take my drugs. This was the sweetest 2 weeks of my whole life. We had rounds and pounds of sex that when it was time for my husband to come back i cried and cried. Please don’t ask me about his wife because i don’t know what he told her when he slept over at our house.
Aunty, late last month (May), I was playing with my boys and I just started crying. A sting of guilt pierced my heart. I felt that I have failed them as a mother and what I was doing was not fair to them. I know that it is best for me to tell my husband but I don't know if I should. This may hurt him so much since that is his friend and he trusted him with me.
Whatever happened, I knew it was time to break off the affair. I called him on Thursday last week again and told him that we can no longer see each other. This time i was determined. I told him that our families are too precious to lose and that I can't sleep with him anymore moreover we have had sex like 100 times. I thought he would reason with me and understand this time but he actually shocked me. He told me that this sexual arrangement will be over when he says that it is over. He says that if I try to break it off, he will tell my husband everything and say that I seduced him and i will be worse off. He also described in detail all my tattoos, my body contours, the shape of my breast and this is something that would make my husband know he was telling the truth. This hurt me bad and I just didn't know what to do. Although I have been depressed about the whole situation, I have seen his friend twice since the thurday conversation and we had sex both times.
I don't want my husband to find out about this from his best friend but the problem is that I am afraid to tell him myself because I don't know what his reaction will be. I don't want him to leave me and I want to make this relationship work. What should I do to fix this?? His friend says he is serious about exposing us and he said that it will be over only when he says so. Aunty help me please.
To go off topic for a minute, my husband has a problem with saying no. He doesn’t really have a mind of his own. Let me say he is a selfless person. If someone asks him to work late or extra, my husband will always do it then complain later. This pisses me off as he never used to be like this. Aunty, I later discovered that this was keeping my husband and i distant.
Sometime in January, we both decided that we will dedicate one week to us to revive our marriage. We agreed the kids would go to his parents and he would have to take that one week off work. In February on Valentine’s Day I had a great plan for us. The kids were with his parents and we were supposed to cuddle each other, have sex and go out to dinner. Aunty guess what happened.... He got a call from his boss to come and rectify a faulty equipment that went down. My husband works in a telecoms company as an engineer. He was on leave and could have refused but he chose to go. This really threw me off balance aunty.
He said he was sorry but left me there all alone. He was so much in a rush to get to work that he left his key card at home. When he got to the office he couldn’t have access to the equipment room so he called me and said his friend would pick it up for him since he was in the area and had to come to work also.
His friend showed up and I invited him in while i went upstairs to fetch the card. It was the first time that I was alone with him so I made chit chat to try to get to know him. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes. I know it was wrong but all I could think about was all the sexual things that my husband told me about him. It was hard for me to carry on a conversation without asking him if it were all true. Somehow, the conversation turned to sex and next thing I knew, I was giving him oral sex in our living room. We also had sex that day. Aunty please don’t blame or judge me. I was turned on and ready for sex. I was in the mood. It just happened that this guy was a tool i used to sort myself out. While we had sex, my husband called me and i lied that I had given his friend the key card and he was on his way. He called his friend and he refused to answer the call as we were in the thick of the action. He later told my husband that he had a flat tire so that's why he was late to work.
Aunty i really enjoyed every bit of that day as he did to me things my husband has never done to me and it has continued like this although more like under duress because he is threatening to expose us if I refuse to have sex with him. I really didn’t mind because i was loving every minute of it. Looking back, I feel bad for living this lie and cheating on my husband. Me and his friend has hooked up at several hotels and he has come over a few times while my husband was at work. He told me all the lies my husband told and all about my husband’s girlfriends. He called a few and put the phone on speaker so that i can hear them myself. At a point he called my husband asking after a certain lady and my husband was telling him how the said lady blew his brains off during a round of sex. This stories made me sink deeper in the act as i was getting all I needed sexually from this guy and i didn’t care whatever my husband was doing. On one occasion my husband needed to travel out for two weeks. At that time i was not feeling too well and he told his friend to make sure I go to hospital and take my drugs. This was the sweetest 2 weeks of my whole life. We had rounds and pounds of sex that when it was time for my husband to come back i cried and cried. Please don’t ask me about his wife because i don’t know what he told her when he slept over at our house.
Aunty, late last month (May), I was playing with my boys and I just started crying. A sting of guilt pierced my heart. I felt that I have failed them as a mother and what I was doing was not fair to them. I know that it is best for me to tell my husband but I don't know if I should. This may hurt him so much since that is his friend and he trusted him with me.
Whatever happened, I knew it was time to break off the affair. I called him on Thursday last week again and told him that we can no longer see each other. This time i was determined. I told him that our families are too precious to lose and that I can't sleep with him anymore moreover we have had sex like 100 times. I thought he would reason with me and understand this time but he actually shocked me. He told me that this sexual arrangement will be over when he says that it is over. He says that if I try to break it off, he will tell my husband everything and say that I seduced him and i will be worse off. He also described in detail all my tattoos, my body contours, the shape of my breast and this is something that would make my husband know he was telling the truth. This hurt me bad and I just didn't know what to do. Although I have been depressed about the whole situation, I have seen his friend twice since the thurday conversation and we had sex both times.
I don't want my husband to find out about this from his best friend but the problem is that I am afraid to tell him myself because I don't know what his reaction will be. I don't want him to leave me and I want to make this relationship work. What should I do to fix this?? His friend says he is serious about exposing us and he said that it will be over only when he says so. Aunty help me please.
Wow my darling APRIL, I really do feel for you. Like i always say, i am not here to blame or judge anybody because i am not God but i will tell you the most practical thing to do to solve the problem. Let me ask you this honest question. Do you want to remain a sex slave to your husband’s friend? If truly you are ready to set the records straight then sweetheart, You have to confess to your husband. You also should do something crazy. This is not to convince your husband but to let him know his friends motive. You have to get a recorder, prompt him to make his threats again and silently record him saying those things. When you have him on tape please go and tell your husband all that has happened. The earlier you confess the better for you because honey, one day, your husband is going to find out and that would be really nasty. Tell your husband everything, as in every single thing. How it started, how long its been going on, why you decided to stop, & the threat. Let your husband handle the rest.
Go on your knees, Pray hard for forgiveness from God, Expect
the worst. Hope for the best.
Add me on BBM so we can talk more. God bless you and please
let your No be No from now on. Waiting for you on BBM.
Dis s serious,Madam u need 2 pray about it ask God 4 wisdom and how 2 handle d issue pls. I feel ur pains
ReplyDeleteFirst time on dis blog, not sure if these stories are true or mere fabrication but all I can say is wowwwwww, more reason I am giving marriage a second thoughts. women are dogs
ReplyDeleteWow, anon 13:32, first of all sweetie, I get a lot of these mails in my mailbox but just publish a few with the permission of the poster. Now dearie, i dont know what you've been thru in the hands of women but to categorise us ALL as dogs is worrisome, bearing in mind that I am a woman, your darling mother and sisters are women and you may have a girl child who will grow up to be a beautiful and powerful woman. So, drop the name tag honey and make the next woman who comes into your life a woman of substance. Much love and thanks for visiting. One Love.
ReplyDelete