My landlord, Sir Dennis and Lady Caroline Madu have known each other since their elementary school days in the 50's. They started dating in secondary school and married when my Mrs. Madu was only 16 and Mr. Madu was 25. In October they will celebrate 55 years of marriage, an accomplishment many in today’s society believe is unattainable.
They agree that getting to know each other as friends before dating and their faith in God has been the bond in their marriage.
“I think the fact that we knew each other’s family and friends and that both of us were strong in our faith helped us to get our relationship off to a strong start,” said Mr. Madu.
“After dating for about five years, and we married and both of us were committed to making it work.”
In 55 years of marriage I'm sure they have had quite an adventure. They owned a business for many years, sold everything they had and moved from Lagos to Enugu with their six children to serve on the mission field and finally moved to the village to enjoy the country home. They are now enjoying their 16 grandchildren and traveling from one country to the account of their kids.
When asked what they have learned about marriage that they would like to pass on to the next generation, they shared these thoughts:
1. Marry the right person– We took the time to watch how the other navigated life said Mr, Madu. Honesty, how a person handles anger, their work ethic, how they treat their family and friends, what they do when something doesn’t go their way, how they handle money, all these things tell you a lot about a person.
2. Faith matters– Faith gave us simple yet important tenants upon which to build our marriage.
3. Leave and cleave –As much as they might want to help, running back to your parents doesn’t help you truly come together as a couple. You have to learn to work as a team no matter the circumstances.
4. Two becoming one doesn’t mean you lose your identity. Both of us have strong personalities. Many people believe becoming one means sacrificing who you are for the sake of the other person. That's not true says mummy Madu. Coming together with your personality and gifts and growing together allows you to be more together than what either of you were before because of the impact each of you makes on the other. This is pretty profound.
5. Your marriage comes before the children – Next to the Lord, there is nothing more important than your marriage. Cherish and nurture it. Putting your children before your marriage is a recipe for trouble.
6. Put your money in the same account – We have never owned anything separately our entire married lives.
7. Communication and being able to handle conflict are skills that will serve you well. There have been many times we have had lengthy discussions about children, work, and money. Remembering that we were on the same team and making the decision not to go to bed angry at each other has served us well through the years.”
At their 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration, the Madu's shared this, “We are united in our conviction in what we have seen, heard, felt and experienced that the best is yet to come in Jesus mighty name. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!”
If the Madu's have lasted this long in marriage it means that with hardworking, dedication, true love and determination, all marriages can succeed.
Much love people. Live, Love and Learn.
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