Why doesn't my husband want s*x?

Hello Aunty Muna, I have an issue that is eating me up and I need to make up my mind fast on this matter. Aunty mi, I've been married for 5 years with 2 kids and my husband and I have been two sexually active people but all of a sudden or at least in the last six months, my husband is not interested in s3x anymore. I am really worried and don't even know what to think or do. Please your advice may help a sister.

My dear sister, nice to hear from you. I am not a doctor or a magician to tell you what is wrong but let me try. If your husband doesn’t want to have s3x with you anymore, its normal to sit down and ask why this is happening. After all, men crave sex much more than we women do, for them sex is merely a physical thing and isn’t affected by outside factors, abi?

But You Are So Wrong! This is just a myth.


Men are as much emotional and mental creatures as women are and their sex drive is affected by numerous outside factors.

For instance, if a man has trouble at his work, this will create a lot of stress which is known to directly affect sexual stimulation and desire. It’s not just you who needs to be calm and collected to enjoy sex, men need the same things.

So, ask yourself if there is an outside factor which may affect your husband’s sex drive. If so, you need to help him deal with it as best you can. Do it as a team.

Now my sister, dont blame yourself. ....

The most common thought which springs to our minds as women when our husbands stops wanting to have sex is that he doesn’t find us attractive anymore or doesn’t love us. This doesn’t have to be the case and is likely not the reason why your marriage is sexless.

Although you do need to make sure that you look your best by working out, dressing nice, smelling nice, and so on, your husband probably still finds you attractive and loves you. You don’t need to look for the reason in the mirror. It is probably somewhere else.

Since you need to feel close to your husband to crave sex, ask yourself if you two have drifted apart recently. Men need an emotional connection as well, they crave intimacy just as you do. If you two don’t spend enough time together, hardly do anything special, lead a boring routine, then it may be the reason why your husband doesn’t want to have sex anymore. You need to work hard to make your relationship as close and intimate as it once was.

Physical issues

Before you try to analyze your relationship, you need to rule out physical issues. If your husband suffers from erectile disfunction, it’s only reasonable for him to not crave sex. This is something which can and should be treated and the results may surprise the both of you.

If your man has started to take medication of some sort, it may have caused an hormonal imbalance which is lowering his Testosterone which can explain why his sex drive is diminishing. Ask your doctor what can be done.

You have to make sure to be gentle with your husband because this is a delicate issue. However, with the right support, you can be a great help to him and motivate him to seek treatment.

Spice things up

You can and should do what you can to spice things up in the bedroom. You have to feel comfortable with anything that you do, but variety does help spark a man’s interest. Make sure that you two don’t fall into a boring routine and you will do much much better together.

Above all, don’t lose hope. You can do a lot to cure your sexless marriage and bring back the passion. It is mainly up to how you work to fix your relationship and how you learn to reignite your love.
Hope my advice makes a little sense.  I wish you the best and hope your marriage gets back on track.